Biology Exam Review

I have always been a fan of Biology as a science and, having followed the entire first semester’s play I felt it my duty as a fan to stick it out and get tickets for the exam.

It was cold; I woke up just before the sun, which is early for me as I normally go to bed around the same time. I moped around for a little while before heading off on a bus to the venue for what promised to be the assessment of the semester.

I had done some reading the week before, unable to keep my mind off the topic at hand, it all seemed exciting and confusing, the emotional stress that must be going through the heads of the examiners before this big one, the fatigue of an entire semester behind them, bliss and the holidays following this one last instructive assessment. From the reading I had determined that the exam was to be played out over a period of no more than three hours, with a fifteen minute reading warm up precluding the first hour.

With these things in mind, and a slight chill about my legs I started walking to my destination. Knowing that once inside I could relax amid a warm comforting academic atmosphere and enjoy the exam.

This was not how things were to play out.

Upon arriving I took out my necessary HB pencil and eraser, black ballpoint pen and university membership card and found my pre-booked seat. (I would like to take this opportunity to thank the university for managing the booking system flawlessly, I was forwarded details and the bill was sent directly to my government debt handling agency.)

I had a good view of my exam and had a good few minutes to stretch out before play commenced, it was in fact, during this time that I began to notice the ambient temperature was not what it could have been; it was freezing.

While not actually causing the solidification of stationary water, it was well below what was comfortable for a three hour stint of sitting. I thought of leaving, or complaining to the correct authority, but at that moment the exam began and I felt that rather than miss any of the extravagance I would sit it out and enjoy it.

The first third with an allocated time of an entire hour was dedicated to multiple choice questions; one truth, four falsehoods, Plato would have some interesting words on this method of examination.

This passed without much comment from the students surrounding me, no comment in fact. It was although this was no mere game to be played and enjoyed. Heedless I stared at the words on the page and coloured in little ovals on the answer sheet.

The second section involved more colouring, but with only fifty four minutes allocated to it, it seemed to skim by about six minutes faster than the last, as with the first two, the third followed with more mundane circling.

Thus far I had yet to run into anything that piqued my interest, the questions were what was to be expected from the season that had come before. It was good to see the same performance that I had expected, but nothing new had come from this, I blamed myself entirely for studying the guidebook too much pre-game, thus causing a lack of surprises.

In the fourth section I ran into a question that truly interested me, it was simple enough, but I couldn’t for the life of me decrypt it. The words melted before my gaze and the sheet ran black and white in streaks of colour beyond my comprehension.

I am NOT being poetic, this actually happened.

I realised I was shivering hard, I put up my hand for permission to go to the toilet, where a nice man offered to take my wallet, I declined and was informed that I could not use the toilet without submitting my wallet. I imagine this is how a bully in third grade would work. Instead of relinquishing my wallet and entering the toilet I paced up and down, trying to warm myself to no avail.

I struck up a conversation with one of the overseers who informed me that this was the standard for exams, and that the cold was due to a lack of penetrating sunlight. Caught up in the idea of sunlight shattering the building and spilling across the floor wiping student after student out in a single awesome heavenly stroke, I returned to my seat.

Fighting to answer the final questions, with over an hour on the clock and nothing in my head I felt an emotion that was like despair without giving up; farce.

I laughed loudly as I boldly reread my exam checking for errors. Then put my hand up and after thanking the instructor for a good season, with a reasonably expectable ending I left.

There was still a half an hour on the clock, but it was clear my exam was over, as was the season.