The Prince 2: The Machiavelling

I may be the only person in the world that wants to see a movie made of this, but as our darling Machiavelli stated, and the current world leaders are proving; it only takes a few stupid people to ruin a few large empires.

I am thinking that, due to the nature of The Prince, the movie should be released as a series of short sketches, much like a retail instructional video.

A typical scene would work like this:

Minister critiques the prince in front of several high ranking lords of his lands.

The prince ignores the response by laughing it off.

PAUSE

The narrator steps in front of this and starts his monologue on how the prince has handled the situation, then talks about the need to appear strong in front of those who are directly under you in power.

RESUME

The prince hears the minister’s critique patiently, then draws his sword and beheads him yelling “How do you like that bitch? I’m the fucking prince here.”

Pumpkin

A man was talking to an angst ridden teenager outside a train station in the city, he had just called the businessman a sell-out for wearing a suit.

The Businessman responded that the emoteen's uniform was just as inviting, but his paid better.

The emokid responded in a rude way "You cry when you masturbate right?"

To his surprise the suit was prepared with a comeback "Always"

The suit then befriended the emokid, took him back to his condo, drugged, raped and killed him.

The moral of this story, don't be an emokid

A children's book

Well,

I was just thinking about how wonderful children are.

After I calmed down a bit, I decided to write a story book that would cripple them with fear and grief over its contents.

Hence this hideous atrocity was formed.

I think I probably should have just stayed in bed this morning.

On the other hand, time for a smoke and some sleeping and then sleep walking.

Maybe I might come visit you while you sleep tonight.

ChungYu is a Chinese linguistic trait of using four words in order to form a saying that is commonly recognised.

It has no actual context that makes it recognisable without a study of traditional Chinese stories

The ultimate meme, an entire culture’s sayings compounded in a code that only with instruction in it will any of them become clear.

I am studying them

Nothing to say, so I will just say something

If you want a vegetarian choice, I can only say that we did not budget for it; as you know, there is no accounting for other peoples’ tastes.


Does divine wrath cover killing people for annoying me?


God thinks slowly


A giant ninja, strong, yet agile


You misunderstand; I am merely giving you the opportunity to agree
before I do anyway


I like cats too, but they are harder to catch


Stop lying to your kids INC


If I were playing video games you would be the bad guy


Fuck you.

Fuck your mother.

She is your mother too.

Happy Satan day

The evolution of my mind: A brief history of ego and id.



I have always had cause to speak briefly and see things in their most basic forms, this has come as both a curse and a blessing to me.

To reduce the universe into a simple easily dissected form is the most insulting thing one can do to the complexity of creation, it is also one of the most honest steps a being can take to understanding that which is.

At the most basic level this can be described as linguistics, but linguistics can be explained by a single question: what if colour isn’t colour?

Nothing more needs to be said on that, I remember the first time this caused me to stop and think, I was five years old.

In kindergarden I was known for mixing several puzzles at once and rearranging them all together, the only reason I had was that it made things complicated enough to be enjoyable.

The balance between chaos and order is very easily summarised in that very statement. I was a Zen philosopher before leaving kindergarden.

But this was not enough for me, balance between chaos and order seemed to me to be yet another rule to be balanced, and so on ad nausium.

I felt myself as a chaotic force, but with nobody around to model these new feelings I hid them as best I could.

I remember pondering the nature of a conversation, trying to understand how it was possible that two people would say things backwards and forwards without having to pause and think about what they were saying.

During school I would often push every rule, and yet, I stand by my methods.

By testing the boundaries figuratively rather than literally I caused everyone to hypothesise about the limits of the rules.

I say this once only, I have never been caught.

My rule testing and breaking behaviour caused me to identify with the ferocious intelligence of the Velecoraptors in Jurassic park, testing the fences even though shocked a little; they would quickly find and exploit any weakness.

I tried playing dumb, but the mask soon became so entangled with my face that I became as my disguise. It disgusted me and I made a push to return to my origins.

Throughout I have found no point in my life that I believe that I was content, this is once again a curse and a blessing. But with no solution I find myself with a secreted yearning to step out that which blocks my content; my own brain.

I poison my body with drugs; they affect it for better or worse, but always cause the rift between my mind and body to widen.

I state now that it is entirely possible that with the destruction of the body the mind may roam free. This I call the philosophers paradise – your time on earth based on gathering as much or as little data as you see fit to compute for eternity.

This brings me to my list of terms that are ill defined and require a kick in the right direction:

Infinity: it is big, bigger than you can imagine, picture that. No…

Darkness: the absence of light? Why not define everything using what is absent, the reason; x’ = x + n

A mixed blessing: apart from the obvious religious implication, it suggests a balance, that you enjoy this thing as much as you dislike it. This is rarely the case.

The rest are for the field of metaphysics and ‘sexy maths’ to deal with, I refuse to waste my time beating my head against a wall trying to understand what no tutor can explain.

I have seen the universe in 4d, try Lysergic Diethylamide, you can sense a lot of things differently to how you normally would.

I sense within myself infinite potential, but with no direction and no driving force it is moot, I merely became reactive to others, which ultimately will lead to stagnation and the inevitable rot of my body.

Name a worthy cause; call on me to do your bidding any who believe themselves better than I.

I ask only for proof that satisfies me and I will serve you unwaveringly to my dying breath.

Your soul?

I can give you things.


Things you don't even think you could have.


Things you don't even know you could want.

Biology Exam Review

I have always been a fan of Biology as a science and, having followed the entire first semester’s play I felt it my duty as a fan to stick it out and get tickets for the exam.

It was cold; I woke up just before the sun, which is early for me as I normally go to bed around the same time. I moped around for a little while before heading off on a bus to the venue for what promised to be the assessment of the semester.

I had done some reading the week before, unable to keep my mind off the topic at hand, it all seemed exciting and confusing, the emotional stress that must be going through the heads of the examiners before this big one, the fatigue of an entire semester behind them, bliss and the holidays following this one last instructive assessment. From the reading I had determined that the exam was to be played out over a period of no more than three hours, with a fifteen minute reading warm up precluding the first hour.

With these things in mind, and a slight chill about my legs I started walking to my destination. Knowing that once inside I could relax amid a warm comforting academic atmosphere and enjoy the exam.

This was not how things were to play out.

Upon arriving I took out my necessary HB pencil and eraser, black ballpoint pen and university membership card and found my pre-booked seat. (I would like to take this opportunity to thank the university for managing the booking system flawlessly, I was forwarded details and the bill was sent directly to my government debt handling agency.)

I had a good view of my exam and had a good few minutes to stretch out before play commenced, it was in fact, during this time that I began to notice the ambient temperature was not what it could have been; it was freezing.

While not actually causing the solidification of stationary water, it was well below what was comfortable for a three hour stint of sitting. I thought of leaving, or complaining to the correct authority, but at that moment the exam began and I felt that rather than miss any of the extravagance I would sit it out and enjoy it.

The first third with an allocated time of an entire hour was dedicated to multiple choice questions; one truth, four falsehoods, Plato would have some interesting words on this method of examination.

This passed without much comment from the students surrounding me, no comment in fact. It was although this was no mere game to be played and enjoyed. Heedless I stared at the words on the page and coloured in little ovals on the answer sheet.

The second section involved more colouring, but with only fifty four minutes allocated to it, it seemed to skim by about six minutes faster than the last, as with the first two, the third followed with more mundane circling.

Thus far I had yet to run into anything that piqued my interest, the questions were what was to be expected from the season that had come before. It was good to see the same performance that I had expected, but nothing new had come from this, I blamed myself entirely for studying the guidebook too much pre-game, thus causing a lack of surprises.

In the fourth section I ran into a question that truly interested me, it was simple enough, but I couldn’t for the life of me decrypt it. The words melted before my gaze and the sheet ran black and white in streaks of colour beyond my comprehension.

I am NOT being poetic, this actually happened.

I realised I was shivering hard, I put up my hand for permission to go to the toilet, where a nice man offered to take my wallet, I declined and was informed that I could not use the toilet without submitting my wallet. I imagine this is how a bully in third grade would work. Instead of relinquishing my wallet and entering the toilet I paced up and down, trying to warm myself to no avail.

I struck up a conversation with one of the overseers who informed me that this was the standard for exams, and that the cold was due to a lack of penetrating sunlight. Caught up in the idea of sunlight shattering the building and spilling across the floor wiping student after student out in a single awesome heavenly stroke, I returned to my seat.

Fighting to answer the final questions, with over an hour on the clock and nothing in my head I felt an emotion that was like despair without giving up; farce.

I laughed loudly as I boldly reread my exam checking for errors. Then put my hand up and after thanking the instructor for a good season, with a reasonably expectable ending I left.

There was still a half an hour on the clock, but it was clear my exam was over, as was the season.

Computer made of granite

Life

It doesn't have an FAQ, there are no rules

There are no terms of service, no right and wrong

There is just you and your brain, make all your discissions on what you want to be doing at a single point, given everything you have experienced and everything you want to experience.

Live, don't fight it.

And for goodness sake, don't stop every time you find a tough discission and ask for directions, everyone else is just as lost as you


In short, shut up, I don't have the answers to your so called problems, DIE DIE DIE!

But angst is so tacky

You just love candy don't you?

I do, like a fish

Now, lets talk angry masturbation

You know, just thinking about how much you hate something and focusing all your anger at it while feeling pleasure.

Really interesting feeling

I am guessing it feels something like how people would feel during the 5 minutes hate in 1984.


Of course, the DALEK do not have feelings, but still, Dr. Who rocks my face.

Here is a lie, it is a lie

I can't think of anything that is certainly a lie or the truth.

Damn.

Ah well, at least I have this picture.


Being sane is boring, everyone thinks you are insane anyway.

That does it, time to make up some imaginary friends.

Xan, psychotic, likes knives, favorate food, bacon.

Right

Robot Sam, paranoid, obsessed with eyes watching him, lives in a cardboard box.

Hrmm, one more, these are sounding too similar to me anyway

Phoden, drinking problem, gets angry at children, has many awesome skills.